The Driver's Seat

Lately, there have been times in my life when I feel like I am in the back seat of a car, watching, observing, commenting on the lives and times of others.  But some days, like today, that's just not good enough for me.  I cannot and will not continue to take a passive approach to life.  The time I spend watching others' lives is valuable time that I should spend assertively orchestrating the details of my own life.

Today, I signed up for clinical research trials for a health condition I've been battling.  I've decided not to take this lying down.  Figuratively, I am standing up for what is mine; securing what belongs to me. That means taking charge in areas in which I've typically been apprehensive.  Now is the time for me to MANHANDLE this life of mine; no one is going to do it for me.
 
I've been polishing my inner person; beefing up on positive material that strengthens my inner resolve.  I've been reading books, listening to lectures, sermons, teaching-anything that can make me a more secure, enlightened, innately strong person. I don't like feeling weak.  Sometimes, when lots of things come at you at one time, you feel weak--unable to accomplish what you set out to do.

This morning, I woke up shaking, nauseous and could hardly get of out bed, because my blood sugar was low.  I started out my day feeling weak and defeated.  But I don't like that feeling.  I don't like it and I refuse to stay in the fetal position.

I ate breakfast, took insulin and laid down.  When I woke up, I checked my blood sugar again and it was too high.  Uggggh! I did all the things I was supposed to do to get my levels right.  When I saw my blood sugar reading, I felt the wind drift out of my sails.  Then I decided not to let the high reading get me down.  I took some more medicine and set out to research some clinical trials on diabetes.

I am determined to make a miracle out of my life and what currently ails me. I refuse to take a back seat to my life, letting things happen to me without making calculated efforts to make things better. 


Today, I vow to myself that I will be a purposeful victor.  I have stepped out of the backseat and into the driver's seat.  Sunglasses on.  Full tank of gas.  Ready to make this happen.  Ready to be the winner that I am destined to be.  


Goodbye back seat.  I'm driving now.