Listen and Empathize

I have to admit that I have often felt rebuffed when my married (generally older and married and married a long time) friends try to tell how hard marriage can be or advise me to be happy Single, because I have sometimes felt that the conversation shifted from my grief about being single to their complaints about being married.

At times when I’ve been the most anxious about being single, I didn’t want to hear the downside of being married. I didn’t want to hear about 2 am feedings or rebellious kids.

I wanted to hear, “I understand.” Or “I’m sorry you are hurting.”

“I know you want a husband and children. Your religious leaders told you not to have children before marrying, and here you are in your 40s, single, no children.  You did as you were told.  Now you’re having to face the possibility of not seeing these dreams for love and family come to pass. I’m sorry.”

That’s just my experience.