The Choice and The Cost

Single, 43, never married. No biological children. Always wanted them.

Finished my undergraduate degree years back, pledged as a returning student in undergrad, then graduated. Started my career, traveled, mentored, godmothered, etc. Tons of positive life experiences under my belt.

I’ve always been a person that people trusted with their children and thought I would make a good mom.

I was however, determined, if I could help it, not to have a child with a man who didn’t possess the attributes of being a great father, because my father was not. I was not going to subject an unborn child to some selfish man, just cause I “liked” him (if I could afford it).

Not having children, I’ve encountered sooo many people who acted like something was “wrong” with me because I didn’t. Men and women alike have assumed I was barren, picky or crazy. And they were bold enough to tell me as much.

So many people told me I would “run out of time,” and that I’d better “get started.”

However, as much as I’ve always wanted children, I did not feel that was reason enough to haphazardly step into parenthood, if I could avoid it.

Sometimes the shade and innuendo is all too much, but I guard my rights and reasons for my choices too much to allow myself to get swept away in public opinion and propaganda.

I try to find ways to give to mothers who are struggling to raise their kids and let the blessedness of giving drown out the screams of criticism.